Playing the Foreigner Card to Escape Tipping in the USA!!

You know what? I believe foreigners (particulary Europeans) know they must tip when they are in America, but choose not to by playing the foreigner card. I mean, when I go to Europe, I know NOT to tip, so when their asses come here, they should know TO tip!!

This applies to not just waiters but your darling hostess. A large party of Italians, I think a 6 top, were getting up, and my manager had me and another hostess go fetch their coats and TWO walkers for the elderly at the table. It took FOREVER for them to get up as I and my co-hostess were there mostly for physical support, gave them their coats, helped them out...NO TIP!

Stop playing the foreigner card, people. You know to tip!

Reservations: No, YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT TIME!

I do get annoyed when customers (who have never worked in a restaurant in their lives) treat me or wait staff like we're stupid when they think something is so simple. No, I don' t seat you in certain seats because we have a rotation. If we don't, we slam the waiters, your service comes slower, and you'd probably complain your waiter is stupid.

Reservations...no, you can't have anytime you want especially if it's taken by others because tables are scheduled estimated times as to how long a party will sit there then leave. The larger the party, the longer they tend to sit and linger, so the longer the time estimate.

This one lady was rather annoying:

ME: Thank you for calling. Can I help you?
BEAATCH: Yes, I'd likea 7 PM reservation for Saturday for 6 people.
ME: I'm so sorry m'aam that time slot is filled up. I have a 6:30 PM or 8:30 PM. Would you like either.
BEAATCH: But I want 7 PM
ME: As I said, m'aam, some parties have already reserved that time slot
BEAATCH: But I don't understand. I've been to your restaurant. It's BIG!
ME: M'aam, not all our tables seat 6 people in addition several parties already took the 7 PM timeslot
BEAATCH: Can't you just schedule me in for 7 PM?

UGH!!

Stroller Hell

If you've never worked in a NYC restaurant, they are not places to bring your babies unless you plan to put them in a high chair or place the carriage in a booth or on the chair OUT OF THE WAY OF WALKING TRAFFIC OF WAITERS, BUSBOYS, and OTHER CUSTOMERS.

So if you've ever had issues sitting down at a restaurant because you had a stroller, keep in mind it's a liability. Besides the fact your baby could be tripped on, spilled on, or SLICED. Oy!

I remember once at another restaurant I hostessed at, the dining room did not allow strollers at all. One father got so irate about it he tossed the menu back at the hostess. Jeez.

This past Sunday for brunch, these huge strollers came in...ugh, why ppl, why subject your kids or us to the fact you reproduced gets in the way of our doing our jobs!

Gross Habits

Bathroom doors are visible to the public where I hostess, and staff have to constantly walk back and forth by the doors since a kitchen door connects to it.

One customer was standing in line for the bathroom, and he was flossing his teeth right there! An expensive restaurant in a classy neighborhood, and he's FLOSSING his teeth.

ICK! Call the bomb squad.

When Customers Are Just Absolute DICKS!

We encourage RESERVATIONS. If you're a walk-in, we accomodate you the best we can, but I can't guarantee you the best seat in the house.

I sat this older couple at one of the bar section tables as they had no reservations, and that is what was available for dinner. Quite frankly it's still quite nice, so whatever! The guy did make a comment how he didn't want to sit at the bar, but my maitre'd told me to sit them there, and he didn't bitch enough to say "MOVE ME!" Besides the fact I automaticaly forget your face and who you are after I see you, just sit your ass there.

An hour and half later..he comes up to me:

ASS: Let me tell you. The food was GREAT. Our waitress was GREAT. But there are ALL THESE seats available right now, and you had to sit me at the bar!
ME: I'm so sorry sir, but...
ASS: I am staying at the hotel nearby for once/month for the next six months, and I'll NEVER come here again!

Seats are available now in the main dining room because it's towards the end of the night, and they were not available when he sat down as a WALK IN. Gawd, bite me.

I'm going to just BLOG about you!!! I have the power!

When Regulars Get Too Close...

I had mentioned that a number of regulars at UES restaurant are loaded. I mean, if they can eat here every day or several times a week, they have plenty of disposable income.

What shall I call this one gentleman...he's jolly, almost like a Santa Clause, sorta looks like one, he's probably in his late 50's, early 60's, really tall guy...once told us stories of how he was sleeping with a woman and how the condoms he bought were so small they sprang off of him, he didn't know he had bought extra small ones. Yes, I hear these stories. Let's call him....Mr. Swing Fling.

Don't get me wrong. Mr. Swing Fling is very nice, but it's not like he'd say no if I or any of the other female staff would go home with him. My co-hostess said she was hanging out wit him after work, and all I could think was, "You're FRIENDS with him? Friendly enough you'd hang out with him OUTSIDE of the restaurant?"

I have to say tough he was kind enough to give me cab $ to go home, which was very sweet, and they did offer for me to go out for a drink. Considering his apartment was close by the restaurant, I wonder if my co-hostess went home with him for some nookey.

Ah, colorful people I work with....

I Love My Pot Recipes...

You know that there are a number of restaurant staff, who at the very last, smoke weed right? That wonderful, gracious, waiter of yours could be the biggest pothead since Woodstock!

Anyways, so I'm standing at my hostess station as the maitre'd and manager are discussing how they smoke up...from their stash, in brownies, in any other recipe they can think of. This is start of shift, so it's early, peeps, can't be zonked out as a dinner crowd hits, but alas they are only talking about it.

The other night my co-hostess asked me towards the end of shift, "Smell me, smell me, do you smell anything." Selfish bitch went out and smoked a joint and didn't offer me one.

Celebrities!

A few weeks ago a very famous male actor came in who was once married to a famous supermodel. I was obsessed about checking his coat to see if he was extravagant or miserly, but alas, he did not check his coat. Of course everyone noticed him when he came in.

Over the weekend a very famous actress (of SNL fame) came in. I noticed when she sat down tables around her whipped out their phones and started texting their friends. Later one customer and his date told me he went up to their table and invited them to his improve troop's performance. Now that's rude I think, but whatever.

....and people call me a total star fucker....

Coat Check Nightmares

I don't think I've posted yet as to why you should not check your coat at a restaurant if you can help it. For the most part, it'll probably be ok, but I've heard and seen enough stuff that I won't check again if I don't have to:

• At some places, the coats aren't watched the whole time nor or always in secure locked places. I remember in one restaurant, there was no coat check person in the room, and the door was left unlocked. Anyone could've taken my coat!
• LOSING STUFF: Oh my gosh, I try to be as careful as possible to tie scarves to the hangers the coats are on, but stuff sometimes falls off the rack, and for the most part we find it. HOWEVER, last night was a nightmare as this woman "claims" we lost her brightly colored cashmere scarf. I and the other hostesses hauled ass and searched everywhere as our two managers were flipping out. I find it amazing out of all the stressful things that could happen on a busy night (computers go down, food runs out, customers throw shit fits at late reservations, stealing), that losing a personal item can make a manager go nuts. We could not find this lady's cashmere scarf, and she was obviously pissed. Our manager thinks she was lying since it was no where to be found and we looked all over. In addition, when she claimed it was "cashmere", our manager said she whispered to her friends and giggled. We could not find it anywhere! At the end, she told our manager she wanted his card because she was going to go to Saks to buy another scarf and send the bill to us.
• SWITCHING STUFF: I heard a story one time when a manager sent a staffer to NJ to attempt to return and obtain fur coats that were switched. Now that sux!
• STAFF TRY ON YOUR STUFF: I admit I oogle at the designer brand coats (Chanel, Lanvin, Genny, Dolce & Gabanna, Versace, Burberry), but trying them on....not yet. I heard there was a coat check room located down near the kitchen prep area, and the cooks would wear customer's fur coats while cutting meat. Ew!
• Ok, I admit, I snack on the coat room. My co-hostess though got some butter on a customer's coat...at least it was down/water resistant material

Though it makes me money when people coat check, I tell friends, don't check the coat.