Good-bye Chef Boy!

Ok, so I gotta admit. He asked me out once, but I think he was turned on by a majority of my insults at him, including saying he was gay and liked to screw the line cook every night in the freezer. Cute guy, told him no though, as with most chefs he's an absolute dick. This guy isn't the executive chef, but I nickname him "his bitch."

With this next story, considering he knows how it sux when customers linger...on his last night (a weeknight I might add), he had some of his friends come over to celebrate, and they stayed till 1 AM when our restaurant closes. That's pretty obnoxious since waiters want to go home, not to mention the kitchen and busboy staff that stay just to finish up that one table. Come on, peeps, go to a late night bar. Not only that, I heard they didn't tip that well. The waiter who stayed is bosom buddies with Chef Boy, and he was mad and made a comment about the tip. Supposedly the two best friends got in a huge fight, and Chef Boy said to the general manager, "Why do you even keep him around!?!" Nice thing to say about your friend, dood. Don't know why Chef Boy thought he could obnoxiously pull something like that on his last night.

My only sense of loss is that my weekly eye candy is gone.

Scarily Slow Summer (SSS)

It's scary how it's been so slow this summer. I know it's a combination of the economy and those rich folks going to their fine homes in The Hamptons.

It scares me though. Our GM doesn't think our head chef would let our place shut down, especially since some of the investors (big names I might add) use the place as their personal playground. Sales are down 50% though, and our Big Chief kinda sux at marketing. He just feels he can ride out the summer.

We'll see. I have some paronoia myself as I was told I did not need to come in tonight and only one host will do. Keep in mind it affects your income when you lost a shift.

Hope for the best. I've already been laid off from my full-time job back in June, though I am sort of working again, but even that venture is on shaky ground.

It's like investing, diversify. Work multiple jobs at once.

AMEX Black Card...ooohhhh

I've always heard about those AMEX Black cards...I think you have a $100,000 or even more on them. A customer used one the other night, and a waiter brought it up to me and my manager.

Those things are made of titanium, you can use it as a shield in Iraq, I swear to gawd!

Rich people, man....

Mother's Day=Stroller HELL

For some reason rich Manhattanites who decide to procreate think that NYC restaurants have more space than their apartments, so they don't realize it annoys the SHITE out of me when they all bring their strollers in, especially when it's magnified by 100 on Mother's Day!

ME: Miss, would you be kind enough to fold up your stroller, so I can check it?
MISS: Uh, I guess.

Yeah, like I have priority valet parking in our tiny coat check room with the other 10 strollers other parents decide to bring in.

Also, why do parents think it's ok to park a stroller in the middle of the dining room? Do they think the heavy traffic flow of bus boys, runners, and waiters with sharp knives and hot plates won't cause any serious injury??

Annoying comment of the day,"Oh, this restaurant is so stroller friendly."

Big eye roll from my maitre'd when he heard that one. Just because you see other moron parents bring strollers in and park them at the tables DOES NOT mean we are stroller friendly!

Gassy customers

There is a regular that comes in all the time. I personally think he's slightly sleazy, but whatever, he's loaded. He's also in his 70's.

My co-hostess wouldn't stand behind him because she heard and could smell his fart...twice during the night. Our hostess stand is close to the bar.

Why couldn't he be a silent killer?

Do you seriously don't know what a banquette is?

Tonight my maitre'd told me to give a four top two choices of tables:

ME: Miss, I can either sit you right here or upstairs.
WOMAN: Well, what's the difference?
ME: Well, upstairs is a table, but as you can see here this is a nice big banquette.
WOMAN: What's a banquette? (as she looks at the booth)

Is she for real?

Mother's Day...

I've agreed to do a double this Sunday: brunch and dinner. Black Sunday (i.e. Mother's Day) is coming up...what jerks will I be dealing with?

FUCK!