I'm a girl, but sorry, ladies, women are way pickier about men about food and where they sit. Also, they are so passive aggressive about it. A majority of a time if I lead a party to a table, and the woman doesn't like it...she just stares, pauses, and annoyingly asks every single person in the party, "Are you ok with this?" That is my queue to quickly place the menus down and run.
I've also observed with various parties, why the hell is it rocket science for you to figure out seating placement at a table..I'm talking about parties of 4 or more. I have stood there for what seems like at an eternity at a round booth, and the party is asking,"Where do you want to sit?" six million times to each other. Seriously, I compare it to a dog going around in circles on a patch of grass before he pisses.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
STINKY CUSTOMERS!
I never had to check something so rank and foul as I did recently. A woman and her friend came to eat dinner, and she gave me her...I guess...shawl, but it looked like a big blanket. Even before that, I noticed that she SMELLED FOUL while walking to her table. Even a waiter commented that she stunk as she passed by him.
It was definitely her shawl, and she even had me hung it up as it left a trail of absolute putrid trailing behind me. EL GROSSNESS! I hung it up in the downstairs coat check which wasn't being used, and my manager said it stunk up the whole area. EW, the smell soaked into my hand I ran into the bathroom. It reeked of a combination of horse piss, farm barn, and NYC homeless subway people (sorry, but that' what it smelled like).
Later she apologized about the smell and said she just brought it from Africa. Who cares where it came from? LAUNDER IT!!!
It was definitely her shawl, and she even had me hung it up as it left a trail of absolute putrid trailing behind me. EL GROSSNESS! I hung it up in the downstairs coat check which wasn't being used, and my manager said it stunk up the whole area. EW, the smell soaked into my hand I ran into the bathroom. It reeked of a combination of horse piss, farm barn, and NYC homeless subway people (sorry, but that' what it smelled like).
Later she apologized about the smell and said she just brought it from Africa. Who cares where it came from? LAUNDER IT!!!
Be sure the Bathroom Door is Locked!
Come on people. When you use one of those single person bathrooms...be sure the door is properly locked.
I walked in on a woman plopped on the toilet, butt sticking out. Only thing I got out of it is that she has no issues sitting her bare ass on a public toilet. Ew.
I walked in on a woman plopped on the toilet, butt sticking out. Only thing I got out of it is that she has no issues sitting her bare ass on a public toilet. Ew.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Spring Weather...darn :-(
As I sit here, I mourn the loss of potential coat check income I've been starting to lose as the weather warms up. Whenever there was freezing, cold, rainy weather outside, and customers were miserable coming in...$$ signs glowed in my eyes.
*sniff*
*sniff*
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Asshole Customer of the Week Award Goes To...
Six top comes in...they're obviously going to order a big dinner, which means they've got some dough...and some old, annoying people with them:
ME: May I take your coats?
ASSHOLE WITH PARTY/OLD FOGIE: No, we have no tips or money for you!
And theereeeeee you have it..the asshole customer of the week goes to an old fogie that can obviously tip 15%-20% to the waiter and eat at a restaurant whose average price point is around $15-$20 for an entree, but he can't give me $1 tip for his coat.
May you lose you dentures in our bathroom toilet!
ME: May I take your coats?
ASSHOLE WITH PARTY/OLD FOGIE: No, we have no tips or money for you!
And theereeeeee you have it..the asshole customer of the week goes to an old fogie that can obviously tip 15%-20% to the waiter and eat at a restaurant whose average price point is around $15-$20 for an entree, but he can't give me $1 tip for his coat.
May you lose you dentures in our bathroom toilet!
Hostess Wars!
One hostess, I shall call her...Mousey Sprousy...called me earlier this week to fill in for her Sunday brunch shift. I said that's fine.
The day before she calls me begging for the shift back because her plans changed, and she really needs the money because her shifts have gotten cut, blah, blah, blah....and I'm thinking,"We all need money, or else we wouldn't be here, and how TACKY of her to ask for her shift back!" But me, being the pushover that I am, gave it back to her. Granted, I'm super annoyed because I canceled a potential networking meeting to fill in for this brat.
Then Sunday night I found out she was out partying late Saturday, and texted 5 AM on Sunday another hostess to fill in for her Sunday brunch. I was FURIOUS!!!
Drop dead next time, Mousey Sprousey!
The day before she calls me begging for the shift back because her plans changed, and she really needs the money because her shifts have gotten cut, blah, blah, blah....and I'm thinking,"We all need money, or else we wouldn't be here, and how TACKY of her to ask for her shift back!" But me, being the pushover that I am, gave it back to her. Granted, I'm super annoyed because I canceled a potential networking meeting to fill in for this brat.
Then Sunday night I found out she was out partying late Saturday, and texted 5 AM on Sunday another hostess to fill in for her Sunday brunch. I was FURIOUS!!!
Drop dead next time, Mousey Sprousey!
Stop Questioning Where I Seat You!
I love it when annoying customers try to argue there way to a bigger, better table.
A four top came in, and I sat them at a four top round table. The man at the table says,"We want to have one of those round booths over there."
ME: "I'm sorry, sir, but they are reserved for 5 and 6 tops."
HIM: "Well, I see only 2 people sitting at that one."
ME: "That's because they are waiting for the rest of their party, sir!"
Another appalling scene I saw is a three top that came in. A woman was the first of the party who arrived, and she had trouble walking and was on a cane. I felt bad enough I had to take her back to the furthest table in the back dining room, and I sat her at a nice corner booth. Her moron guests were like,"I don't want to sit here, let's move!" So this poor lady on the cane has to get up to accommodate her imbecile friends. In addition, they didn't take the seat at the new table that was closest to where she was coming from, she had to walk around. What is wrong with people??
A four top came in, and I sat them at a four top round table. The man at the table says,"We want to have one of those round booths over there."
ME: "I'm sorry, sir, but they are reserved for 5 and 6 tops."
HIM: "Well, I see only 2 people sitting at that one."
ME: "That's because they are waiting for the rest of their party, sir!"
Another appalling scene I saw is a three top that came in. A woman was the first of the party who arrived, and she had trouble walking and was on a cane. I felt bad enough I had to take her back to the furthest table in the back dining room, and I sat her at a nice corner booth. Her moron guests were like,"I don't want to sit here, let's move!" So this poor lady on the cane has to get up to accommodate her imbecile friends. In addition, they didn't take the seat at the new table that was closest to where she was coming from, she had to walk around. What is wrong with people??
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